Has your child approached you and asked if they could have their own social media account? More and more parents are having to decide whether or not to allow their child to have a social media profile.
Since many children have their first cell phone by the time they are 10 years old, it is a natural progression for children to eventually become interested in having their own social media platform.
Related: What Age Should A Child Have Their First Cellphone?
Many parents (myself included) do not mind our children having access to YouTube, which is a social media platform, since this platform mostly focuses on videos. Moreover, this platform has become a replacement for cable and even TV, becoming one of the primary sources of entertainment for many.
However, when it comes to other social media platforms that allow more personal access to people’s lives, parents face a huge fork in the road. Making this decision a possible point of contention between parents and children.
Let’s dive into the key points we need to review and consider in order to make well-informed decisions for our kids.
How old do children have to be to create a social media account?
All major social media platforms have a minimum age requirement to create an account:
13 years old
This is per what Congress has established on the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Rule (“COPPA”).
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that this age is the right time for every child. This is the baseline that Congress has put in place to protect children online. Every parent must make this decision after serious thought, considering the risks, implementing rules, and having a clear understanding of their child’s mental health and capabilities.
Social media risks
It’s become well-established that social media poses several risks for children. To the point that in June of 2024, the US Surgeon General said that “It is time to require a surgeon general’s warning label on social media platforms”.
The National Library of Medicine PubMed Central says that “The most frequent problems found are related to mental health: depression, anxiety, and addiction… Other problems are… sleep, diet and nutrition, cyberbullying, psychological aspects, behavioral problems, sex, body image perception, physical activity, online grooming, sight, headache, and dental caries… greater academic distractions… Insomnia… Cyberbullying has been associated with higher risks of depression, paranoia, anxiety, and suicide than the traditional form of bullying”.
The constant exposure to social media sets an unrealistic expectation of the world and can create insecurity and feelings of defeat in a growing child. Furthermore, the unlimited access that social media accounts provide to friends and strangers about their lives, opens the door for people to comment on their choices, appearance, and identity. This can greatly affect a child’s mood and state of mind. Especially because the internet is plagued with “trolls” that harass others online to make them feel inferior, silly, and bad about themselves.
Not to mention that many people (including children’s classmates) create fake accounts for the sole purpose of leaving distasteful comments in someone’s feed only to mock and ridicule.
How it translates to school
A lot of the school fights, drama, and enmity that happen in schools start on social media. There is a lot of harassment and bullying that takes place on these social media platforms. Rumors are spread, memes are created with the purpose of mocking, and even videos are posted in order to ridicule a classmate.
This can lead to physical violence. Once the person in question gets ahold of the information that has been circling around, it may propel them to look for the person responsible for spreading this information in the first place. Leading to arguments and physical altercations in school.
Children being bullied on social media feel that they have no escape since the attacks are always up for everyone to see. This affects their self-confidence and overall sense of safety when they are on school grounds.
These attacks and harassment not only build anxiety and feelings of hopelessness for the target, but it can also lead to depression. Their grades may begin to drop, they might cut classes or try to skip school altogether.
Social media addiction
The National Library of Medicine PubMed Central says that “A study assessed 700 adolescents aged from 14 to 18 years and found out that 65.6% were having internet addiction, 61.3% were gaming addicts, and 92.8% Facebook addicts.”
Social media has been carefully created to keep its users on the platform. The interactive nature of these platforms provide the brain with surges of dopamine (aka: the feel-good hormone because it releases a feeling of pleasure).
Social media is an instant reward system. You can jump from one video to another without waiting, giving you unlimited access to celebrities, influencers, music, and any content that interests the user.
The app’s happy sound when you like a post, the way the algorithm continuously feeds you content that interests you, and the notifications you get when someone replies or likes your comment all give your brain a constant dopamine release, keeping you hooked.
It’s designed to keep the user coming back.
Children are the most susceptible demographic. Especially since a lot of their relationships are being maintained online and via their phones. It’s not that common to see a group of children riding bikes together anymore. Everyone is home and connected online while they play video games or doing any other online activity.
The internet has become a conduit for children to develop and maintain friendships. Therefore, it’s no surprise that children are developing an addiction to the internet and social media platforms. Nonetheless, it is imperative that you act now, as this is a segway for other addictive behaviors to develop as they get older.
Social media addiction signs to look out for: Not eating, not going out with friends, losing a lot of weight, gaining a lot of weight, grades falling behind, not doing homework, losing their temper when they do not have access to the internet and/or social media, obsessively checking for new updates, seem more anxious than usual, losing interest in their hobbies, depression.
How can you protect your child?
Parents will never be able to protect their children 100% of the time. In the same way that they can’t prevent their children from ever getting hurt. Even so, there are steps that parents can take that help their children be protected and prepared to make the right choices, ensuring their well-being.
Here are 3 things you can do
1. Talk to your child
Have an honest and open conversation with your child. Explain to them what your worries are and the dangers of the internet. Ask them why they want to have a social media account and hear them out.
You’d be surprised how much you can achieve by listening to your child and their point of view. It is possible to reach an agreement and formulate a plan that will work for everyone.
2. Set rules
Set clear rules that need to be followed, alongside consequences if the rules are broken.
Here are some rule ideas that have worked for parents:
- Parent need to have access to their social media (whether it is by password and/or accepted as a friend in their profile)
- Limit of time of social media use (similar to screen time)
- Not sharing sensitive personal information (Full name, birthday, social security number, location, address, passwords, the name of their school, etc.)
- Not posting nude or sexually suggestive images
- Cyberbullying won’t be tolerated
- Think twice before uploading a post or commenting
- Don’t accept friend requests from strangers
- Never agree to meet a stranger from social media
- If they are being cyberbullied, don’t keep it a secret. Ask for help.
Related: How to Keep Your kids Safe Online
3. Teach them about good social media hygiene
Social media hygiene refers to the steps you take to use it responsibly and safely. This ensures that their information stays safe and protected. It includes:
- Being respectful
- Using privacy settings
- Thinking twice before uploading a post
- Thinking twice before posting a comment
- Only downloading apps from trustworthy places
- Using parental controls responsibly
- Don’t accept friend requests from people they don’t know
- Limit social media use
- Do not share sensitive personal information online
- Remind them that once something is on the internet, it’s there forever. Therefore, they need to post responsibly
It is very important that your child understands that even though having a social media account can be fun, they still need to use it responsibly. Their actions and words can have a positive or negative effect on the person in the receiving end. Teach them to ask themselves before posting a comment online: Would I say this to a person’s face? How would I feel if someone said that to me?
Whatever they say or do on these social media platforms reflects who they are. Invite them to give thought to who they want to be and how they want to be perceived by others. Always remind them that it’s so much easier to be a keyboard warrior or a troll because of the anonymity that the internet allows. However, they should do their best to always lead with kindness and respect, instead of getting swept in by the negative side of the internet.
How can I prevent my child from creating a secret account?
*Sigh*, I know, parenting is hard. The cold hard truth is that you can’t. You will find a lot of advice on the internet on what you can do but once a child is set out to create one, they’ll find a way. Your best plan of action is to maintain good communication and trust with your child. Always encourage them to make good decisions and help them understand the reasons why the household rules and boundaries have been set in place.
With that said, there are some steps that you can take to help prevent it. Here are some of them:
- Regularly check their phones and tablets
- Check their browser history (be especially alert if the history is erased every time you check. That’s not a good sign)
- Set their privacy settings
- Set screen time limits
- Use parental controls
- Check the apps that have been downloaded to their devices
- Be open with your child. Share your experiences and the mistakes you have made. Your child will appreciate your honesty and understand some (not all, at the end of the day, they are kids) of the dangers that they have overlooked
Never stop communicating with your child and offering your guidance, that’s the biggest protection you can offer them. But be careful not to become a helicopter parent or being overly strict. This is only going to serve as an encouragement for your child to purposely rebel and start to do things behind your back. Just have a balance and set clear boundaries and rules. Make sure that they understand what your expectations are and the consequences that will follow if they break the household rules.
How it looks for us
My eldest is almost 12 years old and my youngest is almost 8 years old. The only social media they are allowed to use is YouTube. They watch videos and leave comments. But they also play online games, such as Roblox, Minecraft, and some online PS5 games. All of these activities involve interactions with people on the internet. We monitor their activity and their conversations.
As of right now, we are not comfortable with either of them participating in any other social media platform. Our kids have never requested to have an account, but we know that it’s just around the corner. When the time comes, we will discuss more in-depth our reservations and discuss the matter with them.
To Wrap up
So, when is the right time for kids to have social media? The minimum legal age is 13 years old. But ultimately this is a choice that every family must make taking into account the risks and considering if their child is ready for it.
In my opinion, the longer you can delay it, the better. A young mind that is still forming their sense of self is not ready to properly process all the stimuli social media sends their way. As well as appropriately navigating the overwhelming influx of opinions and negative comments that may come their way from other users on the platforms. I mean, even adults struggle to keep a healthy mindset when they are heavily involved in these platforms. Now imagine how much more it would affect a child who is still growing up.
However, there is something to say about the fact that no two children are the same. So, it’s up to every parent to determine the readiness of their child.
Just make sure that you are always communicating with each other and trust that your child has the necessary tools to make good choices.
