Nightmares can be a terrifying experience for a child. They can feel unsafe and may even begin to feel reluctant to fall asleep. Many children will suddenly wake up agitated, crying, and filled with fear.
For parents, this can be worrisome and unsettling to be woken up by a child due to being terrified by their dream. This becomes more challenging if the child begins to have regular nightmares.
Nightmares are more common in children 6 to 10 years of age. Although they may appear when the child is around 3 years old. Many times, nightmares may come hand in hand with fear of the dark. If kids begin to feel scared of not being able to see their room clearly and begin to be fearful of what might be lurking in the shadows.
So, what should you do?
It is tempting to try and find a quick fix and leave it all in the past as just one bad dream. However, sometimes it is not that easy. It may take some time and some adjustments to get your child to have a restful and peaceful sleep every night.
3 Things you can do to prevent nightmares
1. Have a night light
Sometimes the child may have a nightmare because they are afraid of the dark and of falling sleep. They may worry that something might be hiding in their room. This fear may end up showing up as a bad dream.
A night light might help your child feel safer in their room and finally enjoy a good night’s rest.
2. Have a calming bedtime routine
Implement a soothing and relaxing bedtime routine to help them unwind and get ready for bed.
Here are some things you can try:
- A warm shower or bath before bed
- Apply a lavender-scented lotion before bed (or another calming scent)
- Have a small snack before bed such as a warm glass of milk, a small bowl of cereal, etc.
The goal is to help your child relax so they can go to bed feeling calm and ready to go to sleep.
3. Don’t let them watch scary movies or shows
This includes any weird-looking shows as well. This does not only apply before bedtime but all the time. These images stay in your child’s mind, and they will resurface right before bed or during their dreams, therefore causing nightmares.
We know how vivid a kid’s imagination can be. If they hear a creak in the house or the refrigerator running, they’ll begin to think that it must be that monster they saw in the scary show they were watching, therefore scaring themselves.
The best way to completely prevent nightmares due to scary images or videos is by not allowing your child to be exposed to them.
6 Things you can do to help your child after a nightmare
1. Comfort them
If your child wakes up and just had a nightmare, the first thing you need to do is comfort them. Hug them, pat their back, and assure them they are ok and safe. Your physical touch and reassurance will calm them down and make them feel safe. Your child will feel secure in your arms and that will help them settle down.
2. Ask them if they want to talk about it
Talking through their dream and helping them rationalize that it was not real and that everyone is ok, will help them calm down and be less afraid. Knowing what the dream was about can also help you figure out if something is bothering your child and help resolve the problem.
Many times, children have nightmares because of stress or anxiety due to a situation that they are experiencing. This may be the root of the problem as to why the nightmares keep recurring.
However, if your child would rather not talk about their dream, its best to let it go and focus on comforting them and helping them calm down.
3. Assure them everything is ok
Assure them that everything is ok and that they are safe. If they are afraid that there is something in their closet or under their bed, check and let them see for themselves that there is nothing there and everything is fine.
Once they confirm for themselves that there is nothing in their room, it is more likely that they will calm down and relax. Stay with them and help them go back to sleep.
4. Determine if the nightmares might be a result of a traumatic event
If your child has been in an accident, is grieving, or has been the victim of assault (to name a few), it may be manifesting as nightmares.
Determine if your child is suffering from trauma and if this is why they keep having nightmares. Knowing the root of the problem will help you decide how to proceed to help your child get better and work through the problem that is keeping them on heightened alert.
5. Find out if everything is ok at school
Your child may be the victim of bullying or experiencing other problems at school. Have a talk with your child and ask them how everything is at school.
If they just say that everything is “good”, ask follow-up questions.
Here are some things you can ask to get the conversation going:
- How are your classes?
- Do you like your teacher?
- Who is your best friend and/or who do you hang out with at school?
- What do you do during lunchtime?
- Is homework hard? (This is a feeler to find out if perhaps they are struggling with their assignments, and it might be stressing them out. They might be struggling with feelings of inadequacy and are too embarrassed to ask for help for fear of being perceived as “foolish”)
These little conversation starters might get your child talking and create the opportunity for them to open up to you and tell you if they are struggling.
6. Talk to your pediatrician
If your child’s nightmares have become a regular occurrence, you may want to talk to your pediatrician. They will be able to help you figure out a plan to help your child. They might refer you to a sleep specialist to determine what is the cause of the recurring nightmares.
One important tip to remember as a word of caution
· Don’t bring your child to your bed
Occasionally, this won’t create a problem. But do not do this every time your child has a nightmare. Doing this will enforce their belief that their room is unsafe and that your bed is safer than theirs. Therefore, keeping them coming back to your room.
This is a tough habit to break. The best way to deal with it is by not allowing it to become a problem in the first place.
It is better to go to their room, assure them that they are safe, and remind them that it was just a dream and that dreams are not real. You can stay in bed with them until they fall back to sleep.
This can be challenging and hard to do. Especially if your child is waking up multiple times. You might be tired, sleep-deprived, and your feet might feel as heavy as lead. Just hang in there, this will pass.
In conclusion
No one knows the exact reason why nightmares happen. However, we do know that nightmares can be triggered by stress, anxiety, trauma, the entertainment we are exposed to, and the lack of good sleep.
The good news is that the nightmares might disappear as quickly as they appeared. They might just be gone one day.
Although it may be hard and challenging to deal with them, just remember that this is just a temporary rough patch. Before you know it, your child will begin to have a peaceful and restful sleep as they did before.
Psss… You might be interested in reading 8 Things You Need To Tell Your Child Today
