What Children Really Need From Their Parents To Be Happy

When I had my first child, I remember my mind being flooded with many thoughts. I wondered if I was going to be a good mom, if I was up for the task, but most of all, I wanted to make sure that I didn’t mess parenting up.

At that moment, it seemed as if I was the only person in the world that was overly preoccupied with acing motherhood and creating a good life for my child. As it turns out, I was not alone.

Many moms have asked themselves these same questions. Why? Because we want to make sure that our children have what they need to succeed in life and be happy.

So, what do kids really need from their parents?

1. Love

It comes as no surprise that this is the first factor. Children need to feel loved by their parents, and wanted. Aside from nourishment and shelter, Love is one of our main human needs. Humans are social creatures that thrive in a community and the bonds they form with their loved ones.

A loved child is a happy child. Not only do they need to feel your love, but also hear it. Tell them you love them often, hug them, and openly show your affection for them. This is not going to make them weak. On the contrary, it will establish a strong foundation that will help them thrive.

2. Food, Shelter, and Clothing

These are the basic human needs to survive. This one is a given. However, I decided to add them to the list because I wanted to say that in order to be a good parent and raise happy children, you do not have to live in a fancy house, wear the latest fashions, or eat the most expensive foods.

Many parents can’t afford extravagant things for their children. But the thing is, that’s not necessary.

All the money in the world cannot make a kid happy. What they need is parents that love and care about them. The things that you provide will always be treasured, because they will know that you are giving them the best you can.

3. Protection

They need to feel protected by their parents. Instill the unshakable security that their parents will come to their rescue under every possible circumstance.

Children also need to feel safe at home. Make sure to create a safe and welcoming environment at home. Where they can always find refuge and unwind. They need a safe space where they can grow up and be themselves.

4. Understanding

Your children need to feel understood and heard. Do not think that just because they are children, you do not need to listen to or pay attention to their opinions. This does not mean that you have to do what they say and follow their directions at all times. It means that you allow the child a space to voice their opinions and thoughts.

If you ensure that their thoughts are heard and their feelings are validated, it will open the door to something that many parents often chase: communication.

Related post: How to better understand your children at any age.

5. Guidance

Regardless of your parenting approach, children will always need guidance. They are learning how to navigate and make sense of this world and its social rules. This is not a journey that they can take alone as they figure things out. They need parental guidance.

Sometimes you will receive push back. Kids aren’t always going to welcome your advice or the direction in which you steer them at times. Even so, it’s still our job to make sure that they remain in the right path.

6. Discipline

One of the bitter sides of parenting is discipline. It is our job as parents to teach our kids to be respectful, to follow the rules, and be organized. As we all know, kids don’t always follow the rules and behave perfectly.

It is during these times that we must be firm and enforce the consequences that may follow their poor actions. At that moment, you will be the bad guy. The parent that is “no fun and is ruining their lives”. Once they grow up, they will thank you.

It’s ok to hold them accountable and teach them to repair their mistakes. They will be better off because of it.

7. A safe place to land on

When a child feels secure within their family circle, they thrive. Being able to come to you for anything that they need, knowing that they can go home and get away from the stresses of the day, and simply enjoy being home, will make for a happy and fulfilled child.

Create an environment where your children feel safe and free to explore their interests. Also make time to spend with your kids, talk about their day and whatever is on their minds. The stronger your bond, the happier and healthier your child will be.

I found this amazing article on PsychCentral.com that explains more in depth how children benefit from Secure Attachment.

Related Post: How To Bond Better with Your Child.

8. Education

Whether you enroll them in school or choose to homeschool, children need an education. Being able to read, write, and learn about how the world around them works is an opportunity that should not be purposedly denied to a child.

Learning about the solar system, the cycle of water, how plants grow, will not only be fun, but will broaden their minds. They will understand how things come to be and even how their own bodies work.

They will learn life skills that will be needed all throughout their lives, such as math. We use math in all aspects of our lives: cooking, using money, counting, grocery shopping, and even if we are growing our own food. It is a skill that we use in our everyday lives.  

Learning will open the door for your child to find out what they are interested in. It will also unlock their creativity.

9. Your time

Last but not least, your child needs your time. They need to spend time with you.

I know that we live in a fast-paced world that often leaves us with little time for ourselves.  But you need to make time to be with your children, to listen to their stories, to help them with their homework, or just to play a game or watch a movie together.

This will be the most important gift you can give to your children.

Remember, your child needs you to be present, not perfect.

In conclusion

We may think that children need a lot of things from us, but the truth is, what they need most from us is our love and that we give them the best version of ourselves.

It may be challenging at times to juggle it all, but it’s not impossible. With a little bit of effort, we can make sure that our children are set up for a happy and fulfilled childhood.