Nowadays it’s very common to hear people talking about the different parenting styles implemented while raising children. Some are more talked about than others, but it has become a trendy topic in the media and in social media platforms.
However, do we understand what they are?
In this post, we are going to go over the 8 most popular parenting styles and their meanings in simple terms.
What are parenting styles?
A parenting style is the approach a parent chooses to take when raising their children. This plays a major role in their view on how to discipline, communicate, and how they handle situations with their children.
There are 4 main types of parenting styles
1. Permissive parenting
Parents do not set a lot of rules and tend to not enforce the rules that already exist. They do not want their children to be upset with them and do their best to make sure the children never have to swallow the bitter pill of consequences.
Many times, permissive parents want to keep the peace by avoiding confrontations with their children. They want to allow their children to make their own choices and try to take on the role of friends to their kids.
2. Authoritative parenting
In this parenting style, rules and expectations are clearly set. Parents expect their children to meet these expectations, and when rules are broken, consequences follow.
Authoritative parents make sure to explain to their kids the reasons why the rules exist. When they have to deal consequences, they explain to their children why these decisions are being made. The children understand the household rules and why they have been put in place.
Authoritative parents are also very present in the day-to-day of their children and are always ready to offer guidance. While at the same time, keeping a balance between their authority as parents and their children’s autonomy.
3. Authoritarian parenting
Authoritarian parents expect obedience no matter what. They do not feel the need to explain rules to their children and are strong enforcers.
They are most widely known as strict parents whose catchphrase is “because I said so”.
These parents are also very present in their children’s day-to-day lives. However, they are always ready to deliver strong consequences when the rules have been broken, and because they do not have open communication with their children, the relationship can be strained at times.
4. Neglectful parenting
Neglectful parenting is also known as uninvolved parenting. This is a parent who is not present. There is no line of emotional connection, and they do not feel the need to look after their kids. Neglectful parents are unresponsive, do not set rules, or look after their children. The child is left to raise themselves with no guidance or guardian to look after them.
Neglectful parents are not trying to teach their child some sort of self-sufficiency lesson, they simply aren’t interested in being parents.
Usually, these types of parents have an underlying condition of mental illness.
Other types of parenting styles
1. Gentle parenting
Gentle parenting aims to create strong bonds with the children based on mutual respect and empathy. Parents focus on talking to their children to help them understand the reasons for household rules and why discipline may be necessary. Gentle parents rely on communication rather than threatening punishment.
Gentle parenting is also a form of authoritative parenting. However, gentle parenting focuses more on encouraging the child to follow the rules on their own, rather than unwilling obligation.
On the other hand, many parents’ approach to gentle parenting is based on a more permissive approach lacking consequences. This is not the way gentle parenting is meant to be executed, nonetheless, this is the impression many have of what gentle parenting is.
Gentle parents are empathetic and loving, but firm. This is not a permissive style of parenting.
2. Peaceful parenting
Peaceful parents focus on working on themselves to avoid taking their problems out on their children. Their discipline style focuses on non-violent resolutions. They try not to yell at their kids, instead, they work on communication and empathy.
Peaceful parenting encourages parents to apologize and encourage conversation to resolve problems.
Even though peaceful parenting is very similar to gentle parenting, it actually differs. Peaceful parents focus on working on themselves first in order to be regulated, calm, and be able to calmly address their children. While gentle parenting focuses on the whole family as a unit, where everyone works together to form a healthy family dynamic.
3. Free-range parenting
This parenting style encourages children to be independent and problem-solve on their own with little supervision.
Many believe that free-range parenting is the same as neglectful parenting, but this is not true. Free-range parents offer supervision and have rules in place that must be followed.
The goal of free-range parenting is to encourage a child’s autonomy and help them become independent.
However, this style of parenting can land parents to legal trouble. This is why free-range parents have to check their state laws and statutes to learn at what age kids are allowed to do certain activities without supervision, such as walking back home from school by themselves or being home alone. Not doing so, could put them in hot water with the law and they can be charged by the court for neglect.
4. Helicopter parenting
This style of parenting is the complete opposite of free-range parenting. Helicopter parenting, also known as Lawnmower or bulldozer parenting, is a parenting style characterized by an overly-involved parent who “hovers” over their child. It may also come off as an overbearing or over-protective parenting style.
Helicopter parents jump in at the first sign of trouble to resolve any issue their child may be having, not giving them a chance to do it themselves.
They face and resolve any possible incoming hardship, to leave behind a smooth trail for their child to walk on, that will ensure their success. As a result, ensuring their children never have to struggle or face any problems.
Does it matter what parenting style I choose?
As it turns out, yes.
Although I am of the mind that everyone finds their own way of parenting, it is important to be aware of the consequences our parenting choices will have on our kids.
I found a fantastic article by the National Library of Medicine titled Types of Parenting Styles and Effects On Children. In this article, you will find a more in-depth explanation on the effects parenting styles can have on children. It focuses on the 4 main types of parenting styles: Authoritarian, Authoritative, Permissive, and Uninvolved.
It will surprise you to find out that there is one parenting style among the 4 types that has been shown to have the most positive outcomes for children!
What’s your parenting style?
Are you surprised to see which category you fall in? Or perhaps, you are a mix of a few meshed styles?
I was surprised to see that I definitely have a main parenting style, supplemented by a mix of 2 others. This may be true for many parents, as many of these parenting styles have components that we may agree with and want to implement in our parenting.
I don’t think that you need to stick to only one style. You can choose to implement some parts from different parenting styles that you believe will yield positive results for your family. You just need to make sure you are making a responsible choice that will keep your children safe and thriving.
What is your parenting style? Let me know in the comments below!
Psss… You might be interested in reading Is It Ok To Judge Other People’s Parenting?
I’m mostly Authoratative parenting style with a mix of Free Range and at times a sprinkle of spanking if needed lol