What an exciting time! You took a pregnancy test and found out that you are expecting your first child. Certainly, a moment you will never forget. Some of you got pregnant fairly quickly and others may have been trying for quite a while and gone through many heartbreaks in the process.
And now it’s here, you are going to be a mom! After being over the moon, it hits you like a ton of bricks. The weight of responsibility, the fear of the unknown and suddenly, after being so confident and having done all the possible research, you feel… unprepared, unsure.
You may ask yourself: Can I do this? Will I know what to do? What if I mess up? Can I keep a whole human being alive?
I know the last question may sound a little funny and bring a chuckle out of you, but all these questions are so real. For most people, this is the very first time they would be solely responsible for the well-being of a human being that is dependent on them. So far, they only had to keep themselves alive.
I am here to tell you, you got this!
Here are some things I want you to know
It is scary because it’s new
As a first-time Mom, you have never experienced what it is to be a mom. And that can make you feel anxious and worried because you want to do the best you can for your baby. This is totally normal. And it is this exact thought that already makes you a good mom. Bad parents do not lose sleep wondering if they would do it right.
Once you meet your child and hold them in your arms, is like a light switch goes on. You already know the basics: feed them, change their diapers, keep them clean and love them. The rest will come little by little.
It’s not impossible
It can be challenging, but it’s not impossible. Some days will feel like they never end. And some nights will feel like the sun is your enemy and doesn’t want to come up. But somehow, you will still sleep, eat and laugh. Life will fall in place and you’ll develop a new routine and fall into your own rhythm.
Before you know it, you will be slaying this mom thing!
Listen to advice
People around you are a wealth of information and experience. They have seen so many things and can truly provide helpful advice. Maybe you have a baby that is struggling with colic, or perhaps is not sleeping well or going through a sleep regression. Or maybe, their first tooth is coming out and your baby is inconsolable.
So many parents have so much experience with these situations and can give excellent advice on what worked for them. One of the solutions they provide, might just be exactly what you needed.
But trust your own judgement
Don’t sell yourself short. Trust yourself and what feels right for you and your baby. Just because other people might do certain things differently, doesn’t mean that your way is wrong (bearing in mind that is nothing that would put your child in danger, of course). Trust me when I say, you already know what to do.
Accept help when you need it
You are going to hear this from every parent. And this is because it truly takes a village to raise children. You may love your baby to the ends of the universe but this doesn’t mean that you might not need a break, run an errand or make it to a doctor’s appointment.
Maybe you have a lot on your plate and could use a hand. If you have people that are willingly offering to help, take it.
Motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s going to take a while and you don’t want to burn yourself out.
You’ll learn along the way
And you will never stop learning. Every new stage in their development will bring different challenges and you’ll learn together. It’s an exciting, joyful and trial-and-error journey.
You will make some mistakes. Someone is bound to put a diaper and a onesie backwards. Your child is bound to doodle on the wall, furniture or break something. They will fall and get hurt while you turn your head to sneeze. And you will feel bad that you couldn’t prevent that. But don’t let those things get to you, they are part of the journey.
They are also inevitable.
So, cut yourself some slack and move forward. We are all in this together.
You’ll know your baby best
You know how I said before you should listen to advice? Well, sometimes that advice will not apply to you whatsoever.
This is because you will know your baby the best. You know what their needs are and what works for them. Sometimes this advice will come unsolicited (and it will come…a lot. To the point of annoyance sometimes) and you might just have to smile and explain why that doesn’t work for your baby (or just smile and wave. You don’t owe an explanation. Do what feels comfortable for you).
My youngest is like a living furnace, lol. In the winter (we get snow where we are) I cannot bundle him up like other kids because he would start sweating like crazy. He has been this way since babyhood. I would always cover him, of course, but there was always someone that felt that they were more concerned about my baby’s well-being than me. They would tell me to wrap him up better and I would have to explain that I couldn’t because he would overheat.
You will encounter these moments way more often that you would like, but just let them slide off of you and pay them no mind.
You will find your own parenting style
I am sure that from the moment you thought of having a baby, you were already thinking on how you wanted to raise your child. You thought about what to feed them, what type of discipline you were going to use and what type of mother you wanted to be. From the very beginning you had your own parenting style. And it will evolve as time goes by and you go through the joys and challenges of raising a little tiny human.
You will also find your tribe and learn things from other people’s approach to parenting.
There is not a right or wrong way of parenting. We all find our own. That’s the beauty of it all, we learn and exchange ideas from one another.
So never second guess yourself.
Being a first-time mom doesn’t mean that you have no idea on what you are doing. You will, however, sharpen your skills as time goes on. We all started as first time parents, and even after years of raising children, at some point we all feel like we are starting all over again.
So I leave you with this quote that has rung true in every sense for me: “The days are long but the years go by so fast”. Before you know it, you will be the one telling this to others as you give them advice.
Psss… You may want to check out 10 Things that make a good Mom.
