Sending My Last Baby To Kindergarten -Empty Nester

I remember the first time I had to take my first born to Kindergarten. I had been a Stay-At-Home-Mom ever since he was about 8 months old, and this was the first time in years that he would not be under my supervised care. He was excited and I had been hyping the school experience up for him to build his confidence for his very first day of school.

But I was a wreck inside.

I cried when I got home because I couldn’t believe that my little boy was not a baby anymore. It was hard to accept that the time had arrived for him to go into the real world. But even though it was an emotional transition, I didn’t have much time to think about it, because my youngest was still at home with me. He was only 2. I was busy changing diapers, potty training, and running around after a very active toddler.

Fast forwarding to 3 more years. Now it was time for my youngest to go to kindergarten. I figured that the experience would be the same compared to my first. But it was not. There were major differences that I hadn’t taken into account.

I had no more children

Unlike my first experience, this time I didn’t have another baby at home to take care of. I wasn’t going to have a distraction to keep me busy and focused on something else other than myself. My husband and I decided long ago that for us, it was 2 and done. I have never regretted this. And it hit me; these were my last glimmers of babyhood just slipping out of my fingers.

I didn’t realize how fast time really does fly by

I always made it a point to take in their early years, enjoying or disliking every experience of their childhood. I knew that time was fleeing, and it truly goes by quick. But it wasn’t until it was time to send my last baby to school that I felt as if time had sneaked up on me. And let me tell you, I wasn’t prepared.

It was a bigger emotional experience than I had anticipated

It had been 9 years since I started staying at home raising my children. This was the first time I found myself without a kid or two at home. It felt weird, like something wasn’t right. It felt alien to me, being able to have peaceful bathroom breaks and undisturbed lunches. It was nice to be able to go grocery shopping and just focus on my list and the task at hand. But even so, I still felt some sadness about my last baby graduating to being a big kid.

I missed him

It was the moment I had been waiting for. I used to think about how great it would be when my youngest went to school. However, I felt something weighing in my heart. The fact was that I missed him. The house was quiet in a way that I was not used to. You see, I missed my oldest when he went to school too, but since I became a mom, I had never had to deal with the quietness or stillness of an empty house. So, this one, simply hit differently.

Yet I can tell you, this is not an entirely sad story. Change is not a bad thing. It can bring very positive effects as you begin to walk on a new path.

These are some of the things that I have discovered

I love the freedom

Even though it was definitely a transition, I settled in quite rapidly. It didn’t take long at all, lol! For both of my children’s first days at kindergarten, my husband took the whole week off to be with me at home. The second time around was even better than the first one, because it was just the two of us. We went on a few morning dates and enjoyed each other’s company without having to share the attention with anyone else.

I am able to write and focus completely on the things that I enjoy doing. Even the tasks that I don’t love but need to do can get done more efficiently and faster because I don’t need to share my attention and wear all the hats at once.

Rediscovering myself

After so long, my entire focus had been on my kids. Now that they are bigger and gone for school, I had to rediscover who I was, my interests, and how to focus on myself. My kids have always been my priority and giving them my all has always come easy and naturally. At some point, I might’ve also stopped looking after myself.

This change has given me the chance to focus more on me, which has been more refreshing than I had expected. I welcomed change.

Brings me joy to see my little men be more independent

Sending my youngest to kindergarten was a bittersweet experience. It was hard to let go but it was a rite of passage. He is growing up. I will never forget how his big brother boarded the bus while taking care of him. How he sat his little brother by the window, so he could enjoy the ride. It is also carved in my memory, how my youngest proudly and confidently got on the bus; as if he had done this countless times.

It was a moment that he had been waiting for and was ready for. They both were.

Has made me look to the future

This experience has given me a taste of what it will be like once they are all grown up and they decide to move out to live their adult lives. The day will come, when the chicks will only return to the nest in passing. 

I know that I am getting waayyy ahead of myself. But the truth is, that time will arrive in the blink of an eye. Before I know it, they will have grown up.

I am grateful for these moments that help me prepare to start letting go, little by little.

For now, I fill my days with work and everything else I had been doing before. I wave them goodbye when the school bus takes off, and I am excited to see them happily running toward me at the end of the school day when they get off the bus. The mornings have become calmer and more silent. But that’s just the calm before the storm, because soon enough, they are back to cause havoc again. Even though I am so happy they have retuned, I can’t wait for the next day to come so they can go back to school ;-).

How did you feel when you sent your child to Kindergarten? Let me know in the comments below.

Psss…you might want to check out How To Prepare Your Children for Kindergarten.