Many of us that have chosen the path of being Stay-At-Home-Moms (SAHMs) do not regret our decision. We are very happy to always be present and available for our children whenever they need us.
It is very reassuring to know that they are safe and in an environment that fosters our values. It’s a blessing to be able to do so.
However, even so, sometimes we might feel overwhelmed and deflated. We may wonder if we are doing it right or might just be tired because of the everyday challenges that arise.
If you are feeling this way, there are a few things I would like to tell you.
No one can do it better than you
You know your children best. You can anticipate what they need even before they are in need of it. No one is going to give the attention and level of care that you would for them. After all, there is no one in this world that loves them as much as you do.
They will always be safe with you and you will always make sure that they are exposed to things that are edifying. Especially when they are of pre-school age. You are ensuring they have a good, solid foundation, before they start school and for the years to come.
Remind yourself WHY you are doing this
Whether you had the option to become a SAHM, created the space to become one, or it was due to happenstance, remind yourself why you chose to stay home.
On the days that it feels like it’s too much, thinking of this might just be the push you need to keep moving forward. Going through the reasons why you initially felt that this was the right choice for your family, and reflecting on how this has benefited everyone, will give you a new refreshed motivation to keep the course.
Or maybe, it might provide you with a chance to re-evaluate and regroup. It might just be that you realize that this is not going the way that you expected and it might not be working for you. A lot of moms realize that staying at home does not make them feel completely happy. Not because they do not love or enjoy their time with their kids, but because they need more fulfillment, that they can only get outside of the home. If you are here, please know that there is nothing wrong with this. It’s ok to change plans.
Don’t try to do it all at once
Contrary to popular belief, just because you are a SAHM, doesn’t mean that you have lots of free time. It’s ok to take a break.
Make sure that you are not overloading yourself with all tasks, all at once. Need to do house chores? Pick one or two to focus on daily. Don’t try to clean the entire house, do the laundry, cook, do dishes, take care of the baby, and help with homework all at once.
Instead, sweep and dust one day and mop the next. On the third day, clean the bathroom, and etc.
There are tasks that will need your attention daily. Such as cooking, helping with homework, baby care, and doing dishes. Everything else can be done throughout the week. It might even be a good idea to create a chore schedule to help balance your daily responsibilities.
Don’t burn yourself out.
Being a SAHM makes you strong, not weak
In the same way that it suddenly doesn’t make you less smart because you chose this path for your life. At times, you might feel (or be made to feel) as if you are not smart like your peers or that you are not a strong woman because you chose a more conservative, domestic lifestyle. But this could not be any further from the truth.
A lot of women leave behind or put on pause, prestigious careers to raise their children. Many may look at this as a waste of their talents. But is this actually true? No. They are putting their gifts to use; using them for their own children and setting them up for success in the future. With their knowledge, they are able to instruct their children in a more in-depth way that other children may not even have access to. They get to give their children an education based on years of experience and knowledge.
Every day, remind yourself that you are strong and brilliant. You do not need the validation of other people, especially when their views might not even align with your values and goals. Rest assured that you are doing the right thing for you and your family, and that’s the only thing that matters.
It’s a luxury
But not in the way that people think. The luxury is having the blessing of being able to stay home with our kids.
However, this often comes with a lot of sacrifices. It is true that for some SAHMs, they are able to stay home because they can comfortably live with only one income. But for many, it was a decision that was made after a lot of thought and planning. Many SAHMs had to cut a lot of expenses and simplified their lives in order to stay home. They chose to live a humbler life in order to stay home and raise their kids.
Some people may ask
Why would people even sacrifice so much? If people need both incomes, shouldn’t they go work? And the answer to that is: that every family makes that decision considering their individual circumstances. A lot of families sacrifice a lot of material things because they feel that the reward is worth the sacrifice. They are happy and have what they need.
This may not be for everyone, and that’s ok. This is a very personal decision that must be made after careful thought and consideration. And if the need were to arise where one income is not enough, they regroup and make any necessary changes. Even if that means that staying home is no longer possible.
So, keep your head up Mama. And remember, you are blessed to be able to be home with your kids. That right there, is the real luxury.
Final Thoughts
It may not always be a pretty or perfect journey. It is normal to go through ups and downs, feeling at times defeated or even unhappy. It’s ok to feel whatever it is that you are feeling. Sometimes it’s beneficial to be able to look back and reassess where we stand and why we have decided to take this path.
Remind yourself why you made this decision at the beginning while being kind to yourself. Do not compare your journey to some else’s. Everybody has different circumstances and lifestyles. Know that you rock and you totally got this.
On the other hand, if you truly feel unhappy and unfulfilled, please know that this does not make you a bad mom or that you do not care as much for your kids. On the contrary, it means that you love your children so much, that you understand you need to be in a good mind space in order to be the best mom you can be for them. So, if you need to change course, do not feel guilty. It’s ok to do so. You will be ok and your children will be too.
Psss…. You might be interested in reading 7 Thoughts That Make Us Feel Like We Are Failing As A Mom And Why It Shouldn’t and 8 Benefits of Being A Stay-At-Home-Mom (SAHM).
