If you are thinking of having a baby, or maybe are already expecting, you may be asking yourself if you are ready to have a child. Starting a family is both exciting and scary at the same time. Children bring immense joy into our lives, but they are also a great responsibility. Even if we are not sure about how much our lives are going to change, one thing is certain, we know things will not be the same.
Wondering if we’re ready for a child is not exclusive to first-time parents. As it turns out, even couples that are considering having another child often ask themselves this very same question.
So, how do you know if you are ready?
7 Things to consider before having a baby
1. Maturity
Are you old enough to take on the responsibility of becoming a parent? And if you are, do you feel that you are mature enough to be a parent and become the parental figure that is ready to guide and be responsible for a child?
Do not make the mistake of thinking that having a baby will be a walk in the park. Children require a lot of care and guidance. You will instantly become the person that needs to have the answers to all their questions and be their role model.
You will be responsible for creating a healthy and safe family environment where your child can thrive.
If you feel that you still have a lot of partying and hanging out with your friends until late in the night left in you, then maybe it will be wiser for you to wait a bit longer before starting a family.
2. Financially ready
There is a saying in my country that says, “Donde come uno, comen 2”. This roughly translates to “Where one eats, two eat”. This basically means that if there’s enough food for one person, it can be shared with another one in times of scarcity.
However, even though this saying could be applied to raising a child, if you have the option to plan a pregnancy, you should not have this mentality. You should be financially stable to cover the needs of your baby. This doesn’t mean that you have to be rich or make a lot of money. What it means is that you have the means to provide for the baby. Ensuring that they have food, shelter, and clothes.
If you are in a really bad financial place, then it might be best to wait for a while until you can get back on your feet.
Related Post: 7 Thoughts That Make Us Feel Like We Are Failing as A Mom and Why It Shouldn’t.
3. Do you have the time?
This question may sound a little weird, but it is something that you need to consider. Does your lifestyle align with having a baby? Do you work long hours? Are you often away from home for long periods of time?
A baby needs your time and attention. Their first year is packed with milestones, they seem to grow at the speed of lightning. They start to smile, crawl, walk, and get their first teeth. This is also such an important time to bond with them. They begin to recognize you and know that you are their parent.
It is of outmost importance that you are there for them.
4. Consider your mental health
Are you in a good place with your mental health? This is a question that often gets overlooked. Raising a child, especially when they are babies, can take a toll on you. The sleepless nights, the repetitive cycle of caring for a baby, and the crying, can put a lot of stress on you and put you in a bad place.
Many moms struggle with post-partum depression after giving birth. It can be extremely challenging to fulfill your parental responsibilities when you are not feeling well. It can almost feel impossible.
You may be at a higher risk if you are already struggling with your mental health. Therefore, making this question one that you need to seriously consider.
5. Are you ready to not be the priority?
This doesn’t mean that you no longer matter; because you do. You are, and will always be, important.
However, when you have a baby, your child will come first.
Here’s an example of what I mean:
You might want to have dinner, but the baby is crying because they soiled their diaper. Guess what? Dinner will have to wait because the diaper needs to be changed. When you have finally cleaned the baby up, you are anticipating sitting down to eat your food. But now, the baby is crying because they are hungry. Once again, your food has to wait. After ensuring the baby has been cleaned and fed, the baby falls sleep. You happily make your way to their crib to put them down. As you try to gently place them on their bed, they wake up.
A lot of parents already know how this story ends. You will finally eat a cold dinner while holding your sleeping baby on the other arm.
This is just one small example about parenthood. There will be many times when you will not get something for yourself because your child needs new shoes, or a whole new wardrobe because they had a growth spurt.
You will have to take a backseat a lot of times.
6. Do you want a baby?
Do you want a baby? Or are you just feeling the pressure from your partner, family, or society?
Having a child is a huge decision that will be a part of you for the rest of your life. It is true that children are a blessing. They bring so much joy in our lives and it’s an experience that can’t be compared to any other… if you want them.
If deep down in your heart, you know that you do not want to be a parent, don’t be. Don’t let anyone pressure you into it. There’s a possibility that you embrace parenthood and love having a baby. But it can also go the other way. You may become unhappy and regret it. This will be detrimental for you and your child.
7. Do your plans and goals align with having a child?
Are you a career person who is trying to make it far in your field? Or are you a free-spirited person that likes to live carefree? Is your life conducive to raising a child?
These are very important questions. The thing is that children do not need you to be rich or be by their side 24/7. But they do need your time and attention. They need to have their parent say good night to them, play with them, go to school to watch their recitals, and wave at them while they are in the playground.
Children need to spend quality time with their parents, often.
Be honest with yourself and think if having a child really fits with your plans and the goals that you would like to reach.
Last Thoughts
There’s only so much you can do to prepare for having a child. Even after having all of your ducks in a row, you’ll realize that you will never be 100% ready until you finally become a parent. This is because there will be unexpected things that will come up throughout raising your children. You will encounter some curve balls along the way that you never thought you would ever have to deal with.
Even so, you still should make sure that you have a strong foundation and are ready to take on this responsibility.
Considering all these questions is not only for the well-being of your child, but also for yourself. Once your baby is here, you can’t change your mind. It is a big lifestyle change that will change the dynamic in your home. It may even affect your friendships, some people might embrace this new stage of your life, while others might pull away.
So, give yourself time to think about this question:
Do you think you are ready to have a baby?
