How To Build Your Child’s Confidence, The Right Way

Has your child ever expressed to you that they do not feel confident being themselves? Perhaps they have told you that they do not feel beautiful?

Maybe, you have observed that your child is not too confident in who they are or in their abilities.

If the answer to one or more of these questions is yes, then you have come to the right place.

Know that you are not alone. Many parents are faced with this challenge every day. It’s normal for children to feel this way as they are growing up.

According to C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll on Children’s Health “Nearly two-thirds (64%) of parents say their child is self-conscious about some aspect of their appearance”.

So, how can we help? Do what we can so they can build up their confidence. Not only in how they look, but also have confidence in their own abilities.

7 things you can start doing today

1. Compliment them

Tell them they are beautiful. Point out the features that make them unique. Say things like: “You have the most beautiful hair” or “your freckles are so pretty. Many people paint them on and you naturally have them. That’s so cool”.

Also compliment what makes them beautiful on the inside. Say things such as: “I love how kind you are” or “I really like your curiosity. You always want to learn and explore new things”.

Keep in mind to always speak from the heart. Your kids know when you are being sincere.

These seemingly small compliments will mean a lot to your child.

2. Don’t over criticize them

If you are always only pointing out the things that they do wrong, or are constantly criticizing them, you are effectively chipping away at their self-esteem and their self-worth. They might begin to feel like they can never do anything right and as if they have no worth or value.

Instead, when they do make a mistake, make it a goal to always acknowledge their efforts first and what they did right. Then proceed to explain where they could improve on or do different the next time around.

3. Teach them how to handle situations

Whether it’s a disagreement with someone or an uncomfortable situation, teach them how to handle it. The proper way to behave, address issues, and talk when trying to resolve a problem.

This will ensure that they will be confident in their ability to express themselves and handle difficult situations that may come their way.

4. Teach them how to be Self-Sufficient

They need to know how to take care of themselves (age-appropriate tasks, of course). Knowing how to do things on their own, and doing them correctly, will help build their confidence.  This will help them protect themselves and their well-being. They will know that they are prepared to handle whatever life throws at them. Having this level of confidence, will also help them be happier.

I came across this great article on PositivePsychology. Com titled “What is Self-Reliance and How to Develop It?”. It gives a more in-depth insight into why this is important and the ways in which you can help your child develop it. You should take a look at it.

5. Tell them you love them for WHO they are, and not for WHAT they do

There is nothing wrong with telling them the reasons why we are proud of them. In fact, we should always tell them. But if we only constantly compliment and acknowledge our kids for something that makes us feel proud of them, we might fall in the trap of only praising them when they do that one thing that fills us with pride and never recognizing their efforts in other areas of themselves.

We might say something like “I love how you always help me with xyz, you are the best” or “you always get good grades. You are so smart. I’m so proud of you”.

Even though it’s not your intention, your child might interpret this and assume that they must always do a specific task or act a certain way for you to love them and be proud of them.

Make time to let them know that, even though you appreciate the things they do or how much you love a characteristic of who they are, they don’t always have to be that way for you to love them. Make it clear that you love them for ALL they are. Their whole self. Not because of what they do for you or what makes you proud.

It will not only be nice for them to hear, but it will also lift the pressure of having to be stuck in a specific role to be loved.

6. Instill Self-Worth

Always tell them that they are important, worthy of love and respect. Never let them feel that they are beneath anybody or that it’s ok for them to be mistreated.

Always treat them with respect and dignity. They will internalize your treatment towards them as the norm. In turn, they will expect everyone to treat them in a respectful manner.

They won’t be shaken by the people they will encounter throughout their lives. No one will make them feel like they are less than anyone else and, they will know that they do not need to feel intimidated by the people around them. Because they possess their own gifts.

7. Instill Humility

Self-worth is not to be confused with being arrogant. Humility is an important character trait to develop. They need to be modest and understand that no one is below them either. We should also be teaching them to treat everyone with respect.

Let’s teach them to be grounded and not self-absorbed. Having this well-balanced view of themselves and the people around them, will build their self-confidence. At the same time, they will know that everyone is important and special in different ways.

It can be challenging at times to handle these things the right way. Different children have different needs, and not everyone responds well to the same types of approach. However, if we persevere and continue to seek ways in building their confidence, we will succeed.

A lot of children, especially when they are entering the pre-teen stage of their lives, begin to become very self-aware of their looks and their personal abilities. It is in the home where we can begin to lay a strong foundation of self-worth and self-acceptance. It is our job to help them feel beautiful and point out the qualities that make them special. Building their confidence from the inside, out.

Psss… You Might be interested in reading How To Better Understand Your Children At Any Age and 8 Things You Need To Tell Your Child Today.