Best Marriage Advice For A Happy Home And Kids

Marriage advice is one of those things where not every advice is a one-size-fits-all. This is because every couple has their own dynamic and ways of connecting with each other. Nonetheless, one thing in common that every couple wants is to be happy and ultimately have a happy home.

We all want to have a happy family and that our children grow up in a stable environment. However, sometimes we may not know the starting point from to make this happen.

The 7 points below will set you up on the right path. Not only will they help strengthen your bond as a couple, but these will play a vital role in creating a happy environment for your children to thrive in.

1. Communication

Always communicate openly and honestly with each other. Don’t assume that your spouse knows what you need because you have been together for a long time. Although it is true that you will learn what each other needs, neither of you is a mind reader. You also have to factor in that as we get older, we change. Perhaps, the both of you have significantly changed throughout the years and now you have different interests and needs.

Tell each other what’s on your mind. This will not only strengthen your marriage; it will also create a strong and healthy foundation in the home. This is because you will be able to have a harmonious environment that runs smoothly. Clearing up misunderstandings quickly and being on the same page will turn your home and relationship into a safe haven for the entire family.

2. Do not discuss your problems in front of the children

I am not saying that having a disagreement in front of the children is the worst thing you could do. Sometimes you will not see eye to eye on a matter and might talk about it in the children’s presence. This is not necessarily a bad thing. Especially if you model healthy communication and respect, it will only serve as an example to your kids on how to handle disagreements in a healthy way when they grow up.

With that said, you should not be discussing or arguing about your marital, financial, or even intimate problems in front of your kids. Children do not need to be privy to the adult’s problems. They also do not need to be up to date with the status of your relationship. This only causes stress and feelings of guilt in the child.

They internalize their parents’ arguments and unhappiness as their fault. This is very damaging to a child. It will not only affect them emotionally and psychologically, but it makes them feel powerless because they can’t help in resolving their parents’ problems to make them happy.

3. Do not involve your kids in your arguments

This is a big no-no. Do not drag your kids into your disagreements. Do not ask them for their opinion or to take a side.

They are your children, not your personal marriage advisors or mediators. This will only leave them feeling sad and hurt. Children take these kinds of situations and internalize it as it being their failure that their parents are fighting, and they can’t fix it.

It may also leave them feeling like they betrayed a parent by not taking their side.

This is an impossible situation for a child. A situation that they shouldn’t be a part of in the first place.

Doing this disrupts the peace in the home. Do your best to avoid it.

4. Never get violent with each other

Not only physically, but verbally as well. This is not just wrong and illegal (physical abuse), it also creates a toxic and unsafe environment for your children and yourself. Avoid creating an environment of violence that your children will witness. It is damaging for the entire family.

It is very traumatizing for children to witness a parent being abusive while the other parent is being abused. If it’s within your reach, this should be avoided.

Check out this article from The National Child Traumatic Stress Network on the Effects on children that witness Intimate Partner Violence.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, reach out to The National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Hours: 24/7

Phone: (800) 799-7233

Text: Text START to 88788

If you are in trouble, it’s never too late to get help. This is not your fault.

5. Show affection to each other

Not only on special occasions, but all the time. Now, this doesn’t mean to have a full blown make out session in front of your kids, lol. I am referring to appropriate public displays of affection such as: hugs, kisses (cheek or quick peck kisses), smiles, kind words, and affectionate looks.

This is not only going to do wonders for your relationship, but by modeling a loving marriage, you will be setting an example to your children on how a marriage should be. They will absorb this information and learn how to treat their partners when they are in their own relationships, as well as know how they should expect to be treated by their partners.

Another benefit of openly showing your love is that your children will love being home. They will feel secure and happy that their parents love each other. It creates stability in the home and your marriage.

6. Joke around

You don’t always need to be serious or loving one another. Make jokes, laugh, and play around. This will give a breath of fresh air and lightness to your marriage. Allow the space for fun and silliness.

Include the kids too. Children enjoy seeing their parents play together and let loose. They will look forward to joining the fun and telling their own jokes.

This will help the family bonds become stronger. Remember: A family that laughs together, stays together ; ).

7. Say I love you

Say I love you often. Your spouse needs to hear you say it. Do not assume that “they know”. Although this is most likely true, as humans, we need to hear our loved ones tell us that they love us. It fills a very important space in our hearts. It also helps us feel secure in our relationships. Being vulnerable in this way, is only going to make your relationship grow closer.

It will also be nice for your kids to hear you say it to each other. They need to know that their parents love one another. It will not only make way for harmony in the home, but it will give your kids peace of mind. They will not be concerned about the status of your relationship because they will feel secure that their parents are ok. Therefore, this allows them to focus on being kids rather than being worried about their family structure.

To Sum up

Every family connects and shows affection in different ways. As well as having different needs to be fulfilled. However, there are some things that are universally needed. Love and respect being at the top of those needs.

Having a happy and fulfilling marriage is something that every couple strives for. It can be achieved by anyone. It only takes work and effort. But if we work on it, marriage can be a very rewarding and happy journey. A journey that not only the spouses will benefit from, but the whole family.

Let me know in the comment section, what has helped your marriage thrive and what effect it has had on your children? Looking forward to reading your comments : ).

Psss… You might be interested in reading What Children Really Need from Their Parents to Be Happy.