Have you ever experienced moments when you are trying to have a conversation with your preteen/teen and all you get is “yeah,” “good,” or “okay, I guess”? It may sometimes feel like you have to pull things out of them because otherwise, you won’t have any meaningful conversations with them.
This does not only happen to you. Many parents have experienced moments when their conversations completely stall with their kids. At times like these, having a little cheat sheet can really help.
I have compiled a list of conversation starters to get your child talking. Moreover, you can also use this list for fun or to get your child’s opinion on some subjects. Feel free to veer off course, or to come up with any related questions that might arise from the direction your conversation takes.
Some of these conversation starters are just for fun. You’d be surprised how many laughs you can share over some silly questions. At the same time, you can get to know your child more and get them to open up.
I have also asked my kids these questions and have had great success. We have laughed together and discussed interesting topics that have allowed me to learn how my kids process things and what’s on their minds. It’s giving me a window to look into their point of view and get to know them better.
60 Conversation starters for your kids
- How was your day?
- Did anything interesting or funny happen at school today?
- Who is your best friend?
- Who do you eat lunch with?
- What’s your favorite animal and why?
- When do you think it’s ok to fight?
- What’s your favorite food?
- What do you think makes a good friend?
- What do you think makes a person successful?
- What do you want to be when you grow up? (Or what do you want to do once you graduate High School, etc.?)
- What’s your favorite thing to do?
- What’s your favorite sport?
- Is there anyone you don’t like and why?
- What do you think makes a good person?
- What are you scared of?
- If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
- What’s your favorite movie?
- What do you think is the best superpower?
- Who has the best fries: Burger King, McDonald’s, or Checkers?
- Pineapple on pizza, yum, or gross?
- Who is the best superhero of all time?
- What would you do if you owned a dragon?
- If you had a YouTube channel, what would it be about? What do you think would be mine? Dad’s? Your brother or sister? (You can ask about anyone you want. My kids and I loved this question. Totally recommend it.)
- What’s your favorite song?
- What is Skibidi toilet about?
- If you saw your friend crying, what would you do?
- What is something kids do in school that makes you feel uncomfortable?
- What is something kids do in school that you like?
- What do you think of your teacher?
- What’s the most unbelievable story you’ve ever heard?
- What’s the funniest story you’ve ever heard?
- Have you ever farted in school?
- Which one is best: Disney or Pixar?
- What’s your least favorite food?
- Do you like dancing?
- What’s your favorite type of music?
- Who is your favorite Youtuber?
- If you had to give a younger kid advice, what would it be?
- What do you think is better: to be popular or smart?
- Do you think people can change? Why?
- What do you do when you feel embarrassed?
- Have you ever waved back at someone waving hello, and then realized they were waving at someone else?
- Would you ever confess to your crush in front of your friends?
- What is a gyat? (Warning: this is for laughs. It means butt or a big butt, lol)
- You have to choose one: to eat fried worms or fried crickets?
- What’s one meal that you consider a bizarre food?
- Would you eat chicken feet?
- Which one is better: Domino’s Pizza or Pizza Hut?
- Which one is better: Pepsi or Coke?
- What is the best snack of all time?
- Would you rather eat something sweet or sour?
- If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- If someone was bullying you, would you tell me?
- If the bully felt bad for their actions and apologized to you, would you accept their apology?
- What actions or behaviors do you consider to be bullying?
- If there was one thing you could change about our relationship, what would it be?
- If you could paint your room in any color, which one would you choose?
- What is one quality about yourself that you really like?
- What superpower would you rather have: super speed or flying?
- Use 3 to 5 words to describe yourself.
Think about this
It may not always be easy for your child to open up to you. Sometimes they just don’t know where to begin or might find it embarrassing to reach out to you and talk about the random thoughts in their heads (remember, during puberty everything is embarrassing).
Although your child should indeed come to you if they want to talk about something that’s on their minds, at the end of the day, you are their parent. It is a parent’s job to reach out to their kids and keep the communication lines open.
Do not look at it like you are “chasing” your child. This is a very unhealthy mindset. Instead, you should see it as an act of love, and as a parent, you are doing your job to nurture and connect with your child.
To wrap up
Do not be discouraged if some of the answers are “I don’t know” or “Yeap”. Try to remember how you were at their age, while at the same time, giving them grace in the areas that they are completely different from you.
These conversation starters are a tool to help you get the ball of communication rolling. If you see that something sparks their interest, stay on it and ask further questions on the matter. You might be surprised when you hear your child’s answers and their opinions on certain topics.
You do not need to be serious. It can even be made into a game. You may cut these questions into strips, fold them up, and put them in a bowl. Everyone gets a chance to pick out a question and answer them. The whole family can participate, since these questions are completely PG.
The effort that goes into forming closer bonds with your children will not return to you void. There will be days when they will have nothing to say and nothing to share, and that’s ok. It’s like I always say: It’s not personal, it’s just puberty. This phase will not last forever. Now is the time to plant the seeds of communication, before you know it, you will be reaping the fruits of a good parent-child relationship.
Psss…. You might be interested in reading How to better understand your children at any age
